Tuesday, October 4, 2005

the race to thursday is on!

Well, as those of you who know me know, this coming weekend (Canadian thanksgiving) I'm planning to go to Montreal. I'll leave Thursday night on the bus, and get in Friday morning just before seven. My boyfriend (and how odd it is to say "boyfriend" after a year of not saying it) will pick me up at the bus stop, and we'll either go to breakfast or we'll go to his school. Either way, I will be in Montreal, and I will be with him, and I'll be happy, even if it is raining. Even if it's pouring! Cats and dogs!

So, in order that I might take Friday off, and most of the weekend off from my usual routine of getting work done and being here, I've been Super Organized Leah. This is a strange strain of myself that comes out in situations such as this, and always surprises me with, well, how organized she is. This means Day Planner keeping track of all time I spend, and use of highlighters, and the calender with days marked off. She's also learned a lesson, though, from last week when she (I) was sick, because doing too much is really inefficient when it backfires. So the super organization is also making room for Chill Time, etc. This is good because I've been finding it difficult to get to sleep at night: my mind keeps churning, spitting out scenarios and memories and possibilities. All of which, of course, I can do nothing about at that very moment in time.

I've got to admit that even at the best of times, back at the end of Grade 12 when I was writing my "thesis" on Social Aspects of Menopause, as well as doing well in my other classes, I wasn't the most organized person. I mean, I had it together, but I wasn't that girl who is President of Student's Union as well as Treasurer of the Bla-de-Bla Club and VP of another one too, as well as keeping up in classes. I treasure chaos too much to live like an automaton. That, or I'm just not the kind of person who lives one highlighted-dayplanner-slot at a time.

And then of course I wasn't in school for two years. So my organization was about entirely different things: jobs, kids (well, the ones I was a nanny for), travel plans, and more jobs. Some of those things you can kind of blank out mentally for, like a job where you know it so well that you could do it in your sleep, and often did. (I used to get nightmares that I was waitressing, with no clothes on. But that's another story that I'm saving for my shrink.)

So I find myself not only studying things I really love, but being organized enough to really get something out of it. This is kind of a revelation. I mean, I still treasure chaos and invite it into my life on a regular basis. That will never stop, and no doubt the instances of it will increase rather than decrease, especially if I re-introduce kids to the scheme of things. (Not now, sillies. Not yet, anyway.) I think enjoying what I'm studying makes a real difference in how willing I am to be so organized, actually. The passion that is generated when I realize how jealous my five-year-old self would be of my 21-year-old self ("You mean you get to go to the huge library and take out whatever you want, whenever you want?? You mean you can eat chocolate for breakfast???") spills over into the organized side of me, and says: "Get this done!"

The promise of a trip to Montreal helps, too.

PS The photo above is from this site. It is going out to Gill and Odell Park, Sunday evening past.

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