Sunday, March 13, 2005

post-break musings

March Break was wonderful.

I mean, I didn't go south like Tracy did ("tans are over-rated," she said jealously), or to New York like Gillian did ("Manhattan, pshaw," she said, as she thumbed through Vogue, "who needs it?"). Going home was the best thing I could have done with my break. I needed to get away from school routine, from classes and work and making my own food and thinking about groceries and phone bills and all that. I went first to Mum's house, then to Sydney to see dear darling Elizabeth Jessome, where I partied and then recovered at her place on Bayview St. The people she lives with were wonderful, relaxed and happy, and it rubbed off me. ("Reality!" as Pitman would say, as he does air guitar while wearing a bunny suit. Oh, me.)

On Tuesday, a rainy warm day, Mum collected me and I left the industrial area for the other side of Kelly's mountain, back home to the shire. There, I spent the rest of my break relaxing, avoiding doing my Latin by organizing everything I could think of (but at least now the library is tidy, and the fridge magnets, and the shelf behind the sink, hah), playing with cats (five feather dusters!), and being with family. I did a lot of sleeping. I also got a massage, from Mum. I didn't do any snowshoeing but I did get outside, a fair bit. I didn't eat any waffles, but I did eat lots of wonderful Mum-cooking. And on the last evening, Friday, I went on a surreptitious hike to Bell's mansion with Donnie; the view along the way was of the Bras D'or lake, Baddeck and the ice and the island, and the sun setting created a perfect fade of color in the sky. We drank hot chocolate from a thermos on the steps of the quiet, huge, historic house, where a hundred years ago children flew kites on the lawn and a bizarre and loving inventor spent the last years of his life. It was a most marvelous mission.

Then, at 3:30 on Saturday morning, Mum, Mat and I woke up, ate food, got the car packed (the trees were sparkling with ice and it was dark out), got Janice, and got on the road. There was a storm coming, so Mum wanted to get us out early. We drove to Truro, 3 hours if the roads are good, where she put us on the bus. We were back in Fredericton (sunny, windy) by 2. And those are the facts. So Mat is here with me, and I am tired, but happy. School again tomorrow. I'm going to take Mat to some classes and show him to St. Thomas, and I'm excited for this. I love having my brother here! I see Fredericton through new eyes.

So, yes. Post-break thoughts: I feel like if I were a machine, my parts were taken out, cleaned, and put back together. And after a week off, I am happier about being in school, about what I am doing with my time and my life, with how I do not have a set 'career plan' but instead am sniffing out what I love and doing those things. I feel like life doesn't happen the way it does in movies, in our minds, or in the way you conventionally think it does. Each day I am becoming more and more convinced of the power of the moment--of right now, and of how we can use this knowledge to speak out, to hug, to walk, to see, to love. It is mind-boggling to me how time passes (remember the cat and the faucet? Well, I am that cat, and that faucet is still dripping) and how now becomes yesterday, and how tomorrow becomes now. But it's the most beautiful thing I could think of.

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