Wednesday, January 18, 2012


"You reap what you sow."

I wrote that on a little piece of graph paper and tacked it to my bulletin board, a few months ago. It's such an overused phrase, we don't really think about it. But, you do reap what you sow - it's inevitable that you harvest full-grown plants, the ripe fruits, the juicy tomatoes, of the seeds that you took the time to plant in the ground, to care for, to water, to weed. You reap, what you sow.

So, sow now. It's never too late.

Five years ago, I went into a downward spiral. Life was collapsing around me, my energy plummeted, my mood fell, my relationship ended, I left school. I moved home. It was the dead of winter in Cape Breton. I had no idea what would become of me. I felt like I might never come out of this.

But all that time I was sowing seeds. I sought counselling. I worked to heal myself. I walked, and walked, and walked. And wrote and wrote. And used a shitty situation to do only things that I loved. If I didn't love it, if it didn't make me feel good, I didn't do it. I explored old and new interests. Obsessively read typography blogs. Wrote poems and started a writers' group. Walked, walked, walked.

Flash forward five years. (Five years!!! May I just say, holy freaking crap. That's a lot of time. It feels like it just went by in a snap.) And, I'm reaping. My arms are full of delicious, ripe, beautiful fruit. I can feel that I'm so much stronger, and so much more in touch with who I am and what is good for me. And what isn't.

And yet, I'm still sowing. I'm looking forward. I'm tilling new beds, preparing them for new crops. That little piece of graph paper on my bulletin board with a hand-written phrase guides me. It reminds me not to expect benefits right away. It reminds me that sowing is important, a part of the process, and that reaping does follow.

The picture on top: the school I'm applying to. The Graphic Design program. I would start in the fall. My portfolio is nearly done and my application goes in this week. I've spent time in the classroom with them and I absolutely love it. The instructor feels confident that I'll get in, but still, you never know, so fingers crossed!

The picture in the middle: the paper cutter at Wendy's. She is a local graphic designer who has graciously agreed to let me intern with her this winter. I spent a day there already and I absolutely love it. Cutting posters down to size, talking websites and images and logos and art. Love it.

The picture at the bottom: Wendy has a mirror on her ceiling. How cool is that? So I took a self-portrait in it. To me it says: Frame your life with attractive frames, and believe you're worth it. View yourself from unexpected angles. But most of all, have fun.

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