Thursday, April 28, 2005

rainy day woman

I have until Sunday to be packed and ready to go home for the summer. We have a great deal with our landlord: he lets us leave some of our things on the top shelves and we don't pay rent for the months we don't stay here. He doesn't sublet for the summer, he normally just has family members stay here when they come to visit him, or friends of friends can stay if they're attending a course, etc. So, I don't need to get everything gone, just packed and suitably submissive, hidden away on the top shelves. It kind of goes without saying that I must also take down my copious amounts of posters, maps, photographs of family and friends in various embarrassing poses, and all the random tickets and memorabilia stuffed into the top of my mirror. So, I've made a list of what goes and what stays. Soon I'll start sorting things into boxes, bags, places. Soon this room that I've inhabited for 8 months will turn into something else, at least for summer. It's a strange little fact that I'm still getting my head around.

This just goes to show, I think as I look around at familiar walls and positions of furniture, that I'm really not as breezy about change as I like to pretend. But then, I think no-one truly is, and to try and be a little breezy is maybe OK, since it helps.

So this has been a year! Can you believe it? I certainly can't. I find it a bit strange to identify with the label "student", after two years of being seen as one by others, based on my age and interests, only to disappoint them with the reality of my goalless wandering. Ha! But now school excites me, inspires me, shows me avenues of thought and the opportunity to wander down whichever ones I choose. I couldn't imagine being anywhere else. At the same time, though, I realize more fully that university is not for everyone, and that all ways of learning are equally respectable. Someone who bartends and hangs out and is kind to people is just as valuable as a physics grad student. I think someone should tell our society that.

What else is new: well, my exams all went well. I am proud of myself for committing to them. It paid off. Also: Patti and I did garden work for Neil the landlord, and also did spring cleaning. He cooked us our noon meals for each of the four days, and we had long talks about his life and times. It was really a good time. Other than that, I've been being, and soaking up the last few days in Fredericton, and putting off packing.

Anyway, a tea friend just got here. I will report on the excitement to come.

The picture, by the way, is mine, taken in Tasmania last year. Fits the rainy mood I'm in.

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