Two or three days ago (I can't remember which now since I've been sick, and also not keeping track of days) Einar and I were stacking two cords of wood for his landlords. It was hot, the sun was shining, we'd been at it for an hour or so already and sweat was coating our faces. We both held full loads of wood, heavy and scratching the skin of our arms. Up above us came the sound of an airplane, but then instead of continuing its steady drone across the sky, the tone dipped and dropped suddenly. I looked up just in time to see a silver smidgen twist and turn in the sky like a piece of aluminum foil on the end of a string. It came out of its loop and went straight for another few seconds, then did a full 180 degree turn on its side, before falling a second more and doing some more dances with gravity.

"I don't know what airport they come from, but it's somewhere close." Einar said, before continuing the job. I watched it a few seconds more. And they've been round practically every day since, I can hear them from inside the house, like fighter pilots must sound over the heads of Afghanis.

I've never been to jail, I've never been off North America, and when people ask me to tell them adventures from my travels all I can think about is some of the crazy Whistler parties, and some of the drives on Highway 99 in the rain. I haven't chosen yet what I want to study, I don't have a plan to save dying people across the globe, I'm not sacrificing anything really, I'm only learning lately how to take responsibility for my mistakes...

"I'll chain myself to the desk if I have to."
"He will, he has his own chain."
(Canned laughter)
--Will and Grace

I think I never really let go of the false idea that a life should go smoothly, that it should follow a path, that the path (get this!) should be plotted beforehand. The element of change hasn't been in my life lately, I'd grown unaccustomed to it. Sudden disruptions weren't my thing. I liked change, yes, but change that I had incurred. It hadn't occured to me recently that there was any other kind.

And now after not expecting it I'm coming to terms with things like The Ugly Things I've Done and What I'm Doing Really. Learning that travel (at least to me) is more about 10 seconds of staring out of Jyoti's car at the dense, incomprehensibly lush green leaves above the dirt road than about seeing 20 countries and not getting anything out of it. Noticing the small parts of a place, no matter how 'unexotic', is such a better skill than taking in the big marketed parts of a place and not knowing why.

Over by the window, Juliet sits eating her pasta at the table. She's three and has dirt smudges on her face, but she has long brown hair and big brown eyes, so it's alright. Earlier she was stealing my nose. We're in her mother Amber's apartment which is small but all the right colors. The kitchen has tiles on the wall with paintings of grapes, bananas and pairs of cherries; there are lots of windows and all the trees beyond them are the same vibrant green as the Japanese top at the clothes swap the other night. The TV is on in the living room and Friends plays, and it's hot in here, hot enough that sweat collects under my red "Xtra-mart" tee shirt (also from the clothes swap). After eating Juliet wanders around looking for Jyoti's wallet that she hid a half-hour ago, and then brings me my purse, the brown leather 13$ one I got in New York's Chinatown.

Aurora: "....and the next thing I knew, we were in Yemen! But I've been talking about myself all night, tell me one of your stories."
Chandler: "Well, one time, I took the subway, and it was night, and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn, just for the hell of it."

My summer is firming up, I will be working a third summer in the little pottery shop that could, as well as (hopefully) doing some waitressing on the side, as well as (maybe) some writing for the local paper. (Details have yet to be discussed, so none of this is on-the-record, mind.) Mat, my illustrious and darling brother, will also be living in North River with me, and he is a welcome addition to the small-yet-thriving North Shore social scene. Actually, the thought of having him as a room-mate is really exciting, and I can't wait.

So besides for my jobs, I hope to also spend lots of time swimming, drying off, reading, biking, hiking, going to parties, seeing friends, and maybe even...becoming part of a dance class? We'll see, it depends on lots of things. Also, hoping to take a midsummer trip to NYC to hook up with Sarah Cashman (yes, you!) and Sarah Hart (you as well!) and seeing some more of that very cool city.

So far here in NH I've helped Einar with various jobs, like hauling wood, polyeurothaning a floor, the aforementioned honey extraction, working (sort of) in the fields of a local farm (we watered plants for an hour, but it was entirely volunteer work). We've also driven up Mount Monadnack (or was it Temple?) in the fog, and so didn't see a thing, but we did get to climb up into a rickety metal tower with the wind blowing the fog all around us, and that was fun; driven to various nearby towns; taken in the local bar scene at Harlow's Pub; been to a potluck supper at 2D's house...all in all I'm liking NH a lot and having a good time here. I'll be here til the 8th and then we're making our way home, in the dusty old pick-up, and then my start date with Deanie is the 16th, but other than that I have no firm dates. It's been great to see old friends again, and I suspect returning home will be more of that. It should be interesting to see what it's like to be home after being away for so long...and I'm determined not to feel stuck in North River, to have an amazing summer, and above all, to keep on growing, even when it's painful, even when it stings.