Tuesday, March 18, 2003

But Then, I Always Press Snooze, So What Does That Say About Me?

I read this headline at 1:12 AM and immediately feel sick. What is Bush feeling right now? He is three time zones ahead of me, so it's 4:12 there. He's probably sleeping. Can he sleep? Is he watching his alarm clock tick, is he thinking about how he should get up and take a piss? Most mornings I watch my clock for a few minutes before making some random comment at it and getting up for work. The minutes pass too quickly. But then, I'm not waiting for 48 hours to pass, I'm wishing they wouldn't. 48 hours is two days: imagine all the clocks you pass in two days. Now imagine you're the leader of a juggernaut of a country, and you've just served up a fresh ultimatum. Do you notice every clock? Or do you zone some of them out, like I zone out the bland little details of my day: the bus, the walk to work, the customers?

How can someone make war against a noun? How can someone have such little restraint and so much pride and be in charge of such a mad huge ship? Insane sea captains are one thing, chasing that white whale, but there's a little less responsibility involved. If I were a police negotiator, used to talking people down from suicide jumps or potential muders, I would go to Washington and ask to see the President.

Saying the term 'United States' makes my stomach twist and roil. And I'm Canadian! Not even from a country which has been massacred and raped and torn up by the US. I am slowly coming to understand that sour gut-rot of hatred, and it makes me really very sad. I want to go to bed and cry, not make war. Is that a woman thing, or just me?

Why is this logical? "Use violence to stop violence." Anyone can see that does not make sense. Maybe in the sense of a wife-beater being taken in by the cops, and they rough him up, give him his due. But Bush has appointed himself Policeman of the World, and for dubious reasons. No, really, George, we don't think morality is all it's about.

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